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Sam Head & Sex Education

アーティスト：Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers  アルバム：Up On Bust 

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Sam: How are ya doing Ray? Ray: I’m not too bad sir and yourself? Sam: I gotta bad back. Ray: You gotta back back? Sam: Wha? Ray: You gotta back back? Sam: No, I said I’m not that bad b’y, no. Wayne: You’re pretty good Sam? Sam: Yeah, how are you doing Chaulkie by? Wayne: Good b’y. Sam: Yes, b’y, yes. Wayne: Sam, how’s your wife? Sam: By she’s just as big and fat and hugly as ever. Wayne: Sam old man, you can’t talk like that about your wife. Sam: Yes, I can, I lived with the woman for the past 60 years and I can talk about her the way I wants! Wayne: By o by Sam. Ray: I didn’t think she was ugly. Wayne: No she’s not ugly a-tall Ray. Sam: (handing over glasses) Here, you needs them worse than I do. Wayne: No, no I don’t Sam. Your wife is not ugly. How do you figger she’s ugly? Sam: I’ll tell you just how hugly that woman is Chaulkie. She was out stood up in the field last week where we keeps the scarecrow. Ray: Yes? Sam: Crows started bringing back stuff from last year. Wayne: She’s fat too, you figger hey? Sam: Oh, she’s fat all right. Wayne: Does she get any exercise? Sam: Yeah, from the neck up! Wayne: Oh by. Gonna have to change the subject, Sam. Sam: Oh curses. Oh de jumpins. I’m okay. I never wanted that one on there anyway, fold that one down. Wayne: Get it out of the way b’y. Wayne: Now listen Sam. Tell us about your brother John. What’s he up to by? Sam: Oh, Johnny. I spose. He’s the crackie, Johnny is by. Wayne: Always got a story. Sam: Oh my yes, oh Johnny. He was talking to me yesterday. He said to me, he said, “Ralphie”, he said, “I met this old lady; she come up to me and said, ‘Twere it you or your brudder killed overseas in the war?’ ” And Johnny, he’s right good like that hey? Wayne: What did he say? Sam: He come right back and he said, “Well, me brudder Ralphie wasn’t over there so I spose it musta been me.” That’s Johnny fer ya, b’y, yes that’s Johnny. Wayne: Some clever. Sam: Oh he’s a clever one. Wayne: Now listen Sam. Do you know what I heard? I heard that the health nurse was going to see you and da wife. Sam: The public health nurse, yeah, the public health nurse. Wayne: She was down? Sam: Yeah, I spose she comes down all the time. Ray: Why, is there something wrong with you and the woman? Sam: No, nutting wrong with me and my woman, anyt’ing wrong with you and your woman? Ray: Well I don’t have a nurse coming down to see us. Sam: Well, you’re not cute enough I spose by. Ray: You mean she’s coming down to see you personally like this? Sam: Well, I spose. Ray: I realize you’re only 85 years of age. Sam: She’s interested in me, put it that way. She’s a young one too. Wayne: She’s a young one? Sam: Yes, she’s only 65 hey. Wayne: Now then, hmm-mm. And you’re all flattered? Sam: I spose by. Wayne: Well Sam, what sort of stuff is she talking about when she comes down? Sam: Well, that’s the t’ing, see that’s the t’ing. I knows what she’s on to. Hey? She’s talking about the sex and the birth control and all that stuff hey? Ray: Birth control?? Sam: Yeah. That’s not Burt now, that’s not Burt, like Burt Control, that’s not the same feller. Wayne: No, no, no. we know, yeah, prevention of Sam: Yeah right. Wayne: But Sam, she’s talking to you and the wife, you must know all about now, you got all that figgered out now haven’t ya? Sam: Myself and the old woman? Yes sure, my old woman had her cables choked off the past 35 years. Wayne: She had her tubes tied? Sam: Tubes tied? Yeah that’s what they calls it, tubes tied. Wayne: I spose, Sam, that’s it for the youngsters Sam. No kids after that. Sam: Oh no, we had Enos, Elsie and Eunice after that, we had three more after that sure. Ray: Really? Wayne: Three kids? Were they normal Sam? Sam: No by, when I tinks about it, I don’t believe they was. They’re all a bit stunned, hey? Ray: Stunned. Now why do you think they turned out to be stunned, Uncle Sam? Sam: By, now as near as I can tell, I don’t know but I figger now they probably never got a full load. Ray: Yes, it takes a while for it to sink in, doesn’t it by? Sam: And that’s what it do by. Ray: Yes, yes. Sam: That’s what it do, takes a little while to sink in. Wayne: Sam, it’s hard to believe, but you’re telling me your wife had her tubes tied and it didn’t work. Did you try any



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