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Mr. Home Hardware
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He's Mr. Home Hardware he's Mr. Canadian Tire Can't wait for the mail to pick up those colourful flyers He's got all kinds of gadgets in a workshop that looks mighty cool Mr. Do-It-Yourself with an arsenal of ten thousand tools. It if rattles, he glues it. If it separates, he screws it. If it breaks off he glue guns it on If there's a problem, he licks it cause he's Mr. Fix-It He loves it when something goes wrong. He's got all kinds of rig outs to keep himself physically fit He faithfully uses them once then in the basement they sit Never questions or wonders if it's all just a scam or a fad After one single workout, wants to look like the man in the ad. If it pedals, he'll try it If it treadmills, he'll buy it. If it vibrates he'll hand out the cash. When his house gets too cluttered his wife moans and mutters And most of it is thrown out as trash. He's got a vegetable garden that measures only twenty feet square

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