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Making Things Up Again

Artist:Josh Gad  Album:The Book of Mormon 

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ELDER CUNNINGHAM And 'lo the Lord said unto the Nephites, 'I, uh, I know you're really depressed, well, with all your AIDS and everything. But there's an answer in Christ. AFRICAN WOMAN You see, this book CAN help us. ELDER CUNNINGHAM I just told a lie. No, wait, I didn't lie... I just used my imagination. And it worked! ELDER CUNNINGHAM'S FATHER You're making things up again, Arnold. (But it worked, Dad!) You're stretching the truth again, and you know it – JOSEPH SMITH Don't be a fibbing Fran, Arnold. (Joseph Smith?) SMITH & DAD Because a lie is a lie. (It's not a lie!) CHORUS You're making things up again, Arnold! (Oh conscience!) You're taking the holy word and adding fiction! Be careful how you proceed, Arnold. When you fib, there's a price. MIDDALA Ahh, this is bullshit! The story that I have been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin! I'm going to go and rape a baby! ELDER CUNNINGHAM WHAT!?!! OH MY – NO! You can't do that! NO!!!! MIDDALA Why not? ELDER CUNNINGHAM Because that is DEFINITELY against God's will! MIDDALA Says who!? Where in that book of yours does it say anything about sleeping with a baby, huh?! Nowhere! ELDER CUNNINGHAM Uh, behold, the Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith, 'You shall not have sex with that infant..!' LO! Joseph said, 'Why not Lord? Huh? Why not?' And the Lord said, 'If you lay with that infant you shall...Pghwwwww!...burn in the fiery pits of Mordor. MIDDALA Really? ELDER CUNNINGHAM Uh huh...uh huh. 'A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith – I shall give unto you a...a FROG!'...And thus Joseph laid with the frog and his AIDS was no more! (Ohhhhh....) CHORUS You're making things up again, Arnold. You're recklessly warping the words of Jesus! You can't just say what you want, Arnold. (Come on, Hobbits!) You're digging yourself a deep hole. ELDER CUNNINGHAM I'm making things up again, kind of! But this time it's helping a

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