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The Battle Of Epping Forest
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(Taken from a news story concerning two rival gangs fighting over East-End Protection rights) Along the Forest Road There's hundreds of cars Luxury cars Each has got its load Of convertible bars Cutlery cars Superscars! For today Is the day when they Sort it out Sort it out Cause they disagree On a gangland boundary Yes, they disagree On a gangland boundary There's Willy Wright and his boys One helluva noise That's Billy's boys! With fully-fashioned mugs That's Little John's thugs The Barking Slugs Supersmugs! For today Is the day when they Sort it out Sort it out Yes, these Christian soldiers fight To protect the poor East end heroes got to score in... The Battle of Epping Forest Yes, it's the Battle of Epping Forest Right outside your door You ain't seen nothing like it No, you ain't seen nothing like it Not since the Civil War Coming over the hill Are the boys of Bill And Johnny's lads stand very still With the thumpire's shout, they all start to clout There's no guns in this gentleman's bout Georgie moves in on the outside left With a chain flying round his head And Harold Demure From Art Literature Nips up the nearest tree (Here come the cavalry!) Amidst the battle roar Accountants keep the score: 10-4 They've never been alone After getting a radiophone The bluebells are ringing For Sweetmeal Sam Real ham Handing out bread and jam Just like any picnic Picnic Picnic Picnic It's 5-4 on William Wright He made his pile On Derby night When Billy was a kid Walking the streets The other kids hid So they did! And now After working hard In security trade He's got it made The shops that need aid are those That haven't paid "I do my double-show quick!" Said Mick the Prick Fresh out of the nick "I sell cheap holiday The minute they leave Then a visit I pay And does it pay!" And his friend Liquid Len by name Of Wine, Women and Wandsworth fame Said "I'm breaking the legs Of the bastard that got me framed!" "I'm breaking the legs Of the bastard that got me framed!" They called me the Reverend When I entered the Church Unstained My employers have changed But the name Has remained It all began When I went on a tour Hoping to find some furniture


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