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If a Girl Isn't Pretty
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FUNNY GIRL is the life of vaudeville comedienne Fanny Brice (1891-1951), starting in 1910. Actually the show starts after she has become a success on stage and flashes back to her origins. It opens in Fanny's dressing room. She is waiting for her husband, Nick Arnstein, to return after being in prison. She looks back to when she was a 19-year old hopeful. Her mother's poker buddies think she's wasting her life trying to break into show business. Mrs. Strakosh: Fanny, when people pay good money in the the-ay-ter-- especially the male element--they want something to look at! If a girl isn't pretty Like a Miss Atlantic City, All she gets in life Is pity and a pat. Mrs. Brice: Is a nose with deviation Such a crime against the nation? Should I throw her into jail Or drown the cat? Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley and Meeker: She must shine in ev'ry detail Like a ring you're buying retail, Be a standard size that Fits a standard dress. Mrs. Strakosh: When a girl's incidentals Are no bigger than two lentils Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley and Meeker: Then to me that doesn't spell success.

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