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Haikus/Sonnet/Shakespeare

アーティスト：Bo Burnham 

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We've been doing a lot of laughing Which is good, uh, for a comedy show on a comedy CD, but what we haven't been doing is a lot of thinking And I'd like to do that now, I've written some haikus Haikus are Japanese poems consisting of 17 syllables, three lines Five, seven, five And I find them to have a certain Philosophical construct, there's a certain, uh Soundness in their simplicity, a clearness in their cogency, if you will So hopefully what we'll do right now is read these haikus, think for a bit And then when we go back, uh, to the You know, the jokes and the laughing They'll have benefited, uh, from the time we took to think So um, you guys just sit back and indulge me and just think for a bit and then we'll go back to the jokes Uh, can I get some blue light to set the mood? Perfect For those of you listening on CD, the lights didn't change which made it funny I saw a rainbow On the day my grandma died Fuckin' lesbian (Ding) For fifteen cents a Day you can feed an African They eat pennies (Ding) Old peoples' skin sags Because it's being pulled toward The underworld (Ding) Do unto others As you would have them do to you Said the rapist (Ding) My aunt used to say Slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire (Ding) Even if he is Your friend, never, ever call An Asian person (Ding) And finally Bono, if you want To help poor people, sell your Tinted shades, you cunt (Ding) Thank you, this next piece is called "Sonnet 155", or "If Shakespeare Had Written a Porn", and it goes like this I saw the morning dew betwixt thine thighs As I removed my source of Grecian power As if King Midas dared to touch the skies Upon thy body fell a golden shower Thy body's temples, two church bells had rung Upon thy chest, a row of pearls bestowed The sun had set, thy set with wary hung I thought, "How black a night and blue a lode" I said, "What light through yonder beaver breaks? It is the yeast" And now my belly's yellow My pole gives cause to storms and earthy quakes But 'tis not massive, I am no Othello And when that final moment came to pass Like Christ I came-a riding on an ass Thank you very much William Shakespeare, uh William Shakespeare was a verbal cun-tortionist



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