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Shopping Cart Of Love: The Play

アーティスト：Christine Lavin  アルバム：Attainable Love 

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The note said "Darling... I hate to tell you this way, But I've run off with your Roommate, Signed - Your Fiancée". I sat down and cried. What else could I do? That's when I noticed that my Car Keys were missing too, And so was my favorite sweater And my TV And My Stereo! My whole life crumbled before my eyes. Where was I to go? I ran to the Supermarket In a blinding rage Craving foods I have not touched since I was Twelve years of age. 'Cuz not only did my man run out today My boss let me go I have been depressed before But never quite this low Yes I guess I've been depressed But ever this low? NO! And I ran up and down the aisles of the supermarket crying and shaking and pulling things off the shelves based solely on their carbohydrate, calorie and cholesterol count. I didn't go overboard. Just enough to get me through the night. So I threw my purchases down on the conveyor belt They rolled up to the checkout girl She looked at them She looked at me and she said... Hey Lady can't you read? The sign here says express. I'll check you out if you have got Ten items or less. But you've got 2 4 6 8 9 10 11 12 13 things right here If you want me to check you through Put three things back my dear. Well NO! I said defiantly Trying not to shake Then she said "Sweetheart, you don't need those Hostess Twinkies, You don't need that Coffee Cake And why those Famous Amos cookies Let me tell you they're grossly overpriced Put three things back Those are the rules I'm asking you real nice". But I just couldn't so she said "Ok well then, put back those Frozen Pizza's or that box of Pudding on a Stick Why just looking at all these calories Makes my stomach want to flip". But I refused to back down She refused to check me through The line behind me was growing longer And angrier too. The line behind me was growing longer There was pushing and shoving and cursing and swearing too. Look I'm not trying to make trouble I said to her But I'm having the worse kind of day See today I lost my job, my car, my TV, my Stereo, My favorite sweater, my roommate, not to mention my Fiancée. But she shook her head and shouted "Three things have GOT TO GO - Those are the Rules" oh please please please I begged She bellowed "NO" please please please please please please please I begged But she said "NO" And she was enjoying the power trip of it all Because then all the Cashiers In Solidarity shut down The sudden empty silence Was an eerie spooky sound And all the customers started screaming Especially those with Frozen Foods The manager came running He was in an ugly mood. Yes the manager came running He was ugly So was his mood. Well now I tried explaining to him my situation about my Job my Fiancée, My Car but he didn't give me half a chance he just said... Who the Hell do you Think you are? My whole store is paralyzed all on account of you Now Manhattan is going hungry Because you won't follow rules Yes Manhattan is gonna starve tonight Because of stupid, selfish, solipsistic you. I didn't know what that meant either. I didn't know why he was using such a big word on me but it was because he really hated his job as Store Manager. He would just sit in the back room every day, reading the dictionary and then taking the "It pays to increase your word power" test in Readers Digest a play I did a little character development. Well I know by now I must have looked pitiful Tears were streaming down my face He was not moved He did not think mine was a special case. So he grabbed me And he dragged me As as I was sobbing toward the door When a soft voice whispered "I've got seven items, I'll take three of yours" gasp Well I turned And I looked at The handsomest man I've ever



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