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Billericay Dickie
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Good evening, I'm from Essex In case you couldn't tell My given name is Dickie I come from Billericay And I'm doing very well Had a love affair with Nina In the back of my Cortina A seasoned-up hyena Could not have been more obscener She took me to the cleaners And other misdemeanors But I got right up between her Rum and her Ribena Well, you ask Joyce and Vicky If candy floss is sticky I'm not a blinking thicky I'm Billericay Dickie And I'm doing very well I bought a lot of Brandy When I was courting Sandy To aim to make her randy And all I had was shandy Another thing with Sandy What often came in handy Was passing her and Mandy She didn't half go bandy So, you ask Joyce and Vicky If I ever took the mickey I'm not a flipping thicky I'm Billericay Dickie And I'm doing very well I'd rendezvous with Janet Quite near the Isle of Thanet She looked more like a gannet She wasn't half a prannet Her mother tried to ban it Her father helped me plan it And when I captured Janet She bruised her pomegranate Oh, you ask Joyce and Vicky


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