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Good Advice

アーティスト：Allan Sherman  アルバム：Allan In Wonderland 

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+Good Advice I know a man named Otis who invented a room, And his heart was filled with pride. I said to Mr. Otis, "What does your room do?" He said, "It goes from side to side." So I said, "Mr. Otis, if you take my advice, You'll be the richest man in town. You gotta take that room that goes from side to side, And make it go up and down." And that was good advice, good advice. Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price. I sincerely doubt That the world could do without My good advice. Sir Isaac Newton came around to my house one day. His face was all sunburned and red. He said he didn't want to sleep in the shade of a tree, Because an apple might fall on his head. I said, "Sir Isaac, you dumbbell, take my advice. Go right back there and sleep beneath that tree. And if you let that rotten apple fall down on your head, Why you'll discover gravity." And that was good advice, good advice. Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price. The world's a better place, Since I gave the human race My good advice. A man named Mr. Waterman invented a tube. He was sad because it sprung a little leak. He said, "Darn it, when I hold my tube on a piece of paper, The ink leaks out and makes a little streak." He said, "I've gotta find a way to stop that leak. I'll start working on my leakproof tube again." I said, "Waterman, you idiot, don't stop that leak. You just invented a fountain pen." And that was good advice, good advice. Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price. I'm so worldly wise, I should get the Nobel Prize, For good advice. Good old Henry Ford, he was a hardworking man. He worked all night and all day. I said, "Henry, watcha doin'?" And Henry, he said, "I'm inventing the Chevrolet." He said, "I've already built twenty-five models, One for each letter from A to Z." I said, "Henry, you fool, there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet. He said, "Good heavens, I forgot the Model T." And that was good advice, good advice. Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price. It's fruitful as can be, And it's absolutely free. My good advice. Wilbur and Orville were two brothers named Wright. The nicest pair of kids you've ever seen. They worked twelve years on a secret project. They thought it was a washing machine. I said, "Fellas, what are all those wings for?" They said, "For hanging clothes out to dry." I said, "You fools, take that washing machine out to Kitty Hawk, And see if the darn thing'll fly." And that was good advice, good advice. Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price. I'm so smart that I'm Gonna win a Guggenheim, For good advice. (One more time) Benjamin Franklin was a charming old man, He was always flying his kite.



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