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The Bridesmaid Dress Song

アーティスト：Deirdre Flint  アルバム：The Shuffleboard Queens 

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My cousin Mary is a real good friend so she's a bridesmaid for the tenth time They say that love is blind and a bride to be can prove it cause what they pick for bridesmaids is a heinous fashion crime. She pays 300 dollars for a dress the bride is claiming, "If you hem it, you can wear it as a cocktail dress." Well, sure. If you hem it, redesign the sleeves, tear off the bows and rhinestones, tuck in the sash and dye it black, well then, 500 dollars later you will end up with a gown that is quite obviously a bridesmaid dress altered to be worn as a cocktail dress. Well, she called me when the dress came in and said, "I can't believe it, but this one wins the one for the most piteous." I said, "You've got a wide brimmed melon hat, nothing could be worse than that." But it was. It was hideous. It was yards of silken aqua foamy green with lace and ribbons It was Scarlett crawling back up from the dead And as she shoved her feet into a set of matching four inch heels For lack of any better words I said, Someday, jumbo butt bows, will be the rage that's what my hunch is And someday, jade silk long gloves Will be the power dress for corporate lunches. They brought the bellbottoms back , we said it couldn't be done It's just a question of when. Don't trash that satin, I'm telling you girl, You'll use that dress again. The reception was a dinner cruise that sailed into the bay, Despite the lace and ribbons Mary looked divine. But another psycho bridesmaid who was jealous of her beauty Lured her up onto the deck and pushed poor Mary into the brine. Well, she floated on for days because the bustle made her buoyant. And the sharks could not bite through the crinoline skirt. And her parasol turned over caught her ten fresh quarts of water Till she landed on the last uncharted island, whether beaten



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