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My Perfect Cousin
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Now, I've got a cousin called Kevin He's sure to go to heaven Always spotless, clean and neat As smooth as you'll get 'em He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket My ma said they cost a packet But she won't even let me explain That me and Kevin we're just not the same Oh, my perfect cousin What I like to do he doesn't He's his family's pride and joy His mother's little golden boy He's got a degree in economics Maths, physics and bionics He thinks that I'm a cabbage 'Cause I hate University Challenge Even at the age of ten Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then He always beat me at Subbuteo 'Cause he "flicked to kick" And I didn't know

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