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Trapped in the Drive-Thru

アーティスト：Weird Al" Yankovic  アルバム：The Essential "Weird Al" Yankovic  作詞：JONES JOHN PAUL/KELLY ROBERT S/PAGE JAMES PATRICK/PAGE JIMMY  作曲：JONES JOHN PAUL/KELLY ROBERT S/PAGE JAMES PATRICK/PAGE JIMMY 

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Seven o'clock in the evening Watchin' somethin' stupid on TV. I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me. And she says "Is this 'Behind the Music' With Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say "I don't know, Say, it's gettin' late...what 'cha wanna do for dinner?" She says "I kinda had a big lunch, So I'm not super hungry." I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starving either, But I could eat." She said "So what do ya have in mind?" I said "I don't know, what about you?" She says "I don't care if you're hungry, let's eat." I said "That's what we're gonna do!" "But first you gotta tell me, What it is you're hungry for!" And she says "Let me think... ...What's left in our refrigerator?" I said "Well, there's tuna, I know." She said "That went bad a week ago." I said "Is the chili OK?" She said "You finished that yesterday!" I hopped up and I said "I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?" She's like "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver!" I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'." She's like "I heard you say liver!" I'm like "I should know what I said." She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!" Well I was gonna say something, But my cell phone started to ring. Now who could be callin' me? Well I checked my caller ID. It was just cousin Larry Calling for the third time today. My wife said "Let it go to voicemail." I said, "Okay." "Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right. So what do you want to do?" She said "Why don't you whip up something in the kitchen?" "Yeah," I said, "Why don't you? " And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?" I says "No." She says "Yes." I says "No." She says "Yes." I says "No." She says "Yes... ...Oh, here's your keys" I step a little bit closer Say "OK, where ya wanna go?" She says "How 'bout The Ivy?" I said "Yeah, well I don't know..." "I don't feel like getting all dressed up And eatin' expensive food." She's says "Olive Garden?" I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood." "...And Burrito King would make me gassy, There's no doubt." She says "Just forget about it." I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!" Then I get an idea! I say "I know what we'll do!" She says "What?" I say "Guess." She says "What?!" I say "We're going to the drive-thru!" So we head out the front door, Open the garage door, Then I open the car doors, And we get in those car doors, Put my key in the ignition, And then I turn it sideways, Then we fasten our seat belts, As we pull out the driveway! Then we drive to the drive-thru! Heading off to the drive-thru! We're approaching the drive-thru! Getting close to the drive-thru! Almost there at the drive-thru! Now we're here at the drive thru! Here in line at the drive-thru! Did I mention the drive-thru? Well here we are, In the drive-thru line, me and her. Cars in front of us, cars in back of us, All just waiting to order. There's some idiot in a Volvo With his brights on behind me. I lean out the window and scream "Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?!" My wife says "Maybe we should park... ...We could just go eat inside." I said "I'm wearing bunny slippers, So I ain't leavin' this ride." Now a woman on a speaker box Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please" I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese." Then my wife says "Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead this time." I said "You always get a cheeseburger!" She says "That's not what I'm hungry for." I put my head in my hands and scream, "I don't know who you are anymore!" The voice on the speaker says "I don't have all day!" I said "Then, take our order, And we'll be on our way!" "I wanna get a chicken sandwich And I want a cheeseburger, too." She's like "You want onions on that?" I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do... "...Plus we need curly fries And don't you dare forget it! And two medium root beers No, just one, we'll split it." Then I said "I'm guessin' that You're probably not too bright... So read me back my order Let's make sure you got it right." She says "One! You want a chicken sandwich. Two! You want a cheeseburger Three! Curly fries, and a large root beer." "Stop, don't go no further!" "I never ordered a large root beer I said medium, not large!" Then she says "We're havin' a special, I supersized you at no charge."



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