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A Visit From St. Nicholson

アーティスト：Bob Rivers  アルバム：Twisted Christmas 

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Twas' the fright before Christmas No one upset me With a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my chair. In hopes that St. Nicholson soon would be there. The children were lying awake without sleep They'd seen all his movies; He gives them the creeps. I'd cued up "Cuckoo's Nest" with my trusty remote To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat? When out in the yard, there arose such a noise I turned off the TV to see what it was. And what to my wandering eyes should approach But the Los Angeles Lakers, and Pat Riley, their coach! The limo was racing, the team at its heels That's when I saw him: the man at the wheel. He ranted and cursed, and waved round his swizzel stick And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick. More rapid than the Celtics these Lakers they came He screamed like a mad man and called them by name: "Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott, and Kareem. On Cooper, on Rambis, and the rest of the team." Down the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan. Then he brushed off the suit and said, "Honey, I'm home." He was wearing a trench coat. With beer it was stained. And his shirt was clawed to shreds by Shirley MacLlaine He had a fat face and a flabby beer belly. From too many trips to the bar and the deli. He said, "Its tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy I only get calls to play weirdo's and crazies And middle-aged has-been's with washed up careers But I'll fix them all and play Santa this year!" And with that, he buried his head in the sack and said, "Lets see what you get from your old buddy Jack. A hatchet for Daddy…" He reared back his head "To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed And a stiff drink for mommy in a nice tall glass She could really use something to kill that bug up her chimney" With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face, he threw all the stockings into the fireplace What could I do? What could I say? What would I wear on my feet Christmas day? I asked for a reason And turning his head He looked straight at me And here's what he said:



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